What is the key to becoming a better woman?
A woman’s strength and dignity; our poise and our class can be measured by inward attributes that increasingly impact our outward appearance.
What comes to mind when you think of being the best woman you can be?
Do you think of appearance-based things such as hairstyles and outfits? Is it achievement-based like better time management, more palatable meals, or financial success?
The thought of becoming the best woman I can be is naturally accompanied by the desire to be better in one or more areas. There is a bar set higher than where I am that I desire to reach for.
As I mature in age and grow spiritually, I find women in pursuit of similar goals for themselves. We want to be dignified, slow to anger, wise, financially responsible, gentle, nurturing, elegant, fearless, and capable.
There is a shift in mindset that moves us away from being attracted to classless behavior and ungodly reputations. We want to be known for our devotion to good which is undeniably rooted in devotion to God. Our fast-paced tendencies of ripping and running aimlessly in pursuit of temporary ambitions transforms into steady efforts to build something worth standing on. Fast food loses its appeal in comparison to the satisfaction of time well spent in the kitchen preparing a meal from start to finish. We become mothers in one way or another participating in the rearing of children and/or influence of our communities to create lasting benefit and progress.
We learn to quiet our thoughts and hearts so that we can be more effective in our expression. We mature in relationships, partnerships, endeavors, and life as a whole.
The journey of intentional womanhood is all this and more. Start Here :)
We Need More than Lists and Hacks to be Successful in Womanhood
How can I be successful as a woman?
As I scoured Google search results for answers to this question I came across list after list in addition to hacks and definitions. I agreed with many of the responses, but I also believe most of the information I found on the topic dealt more with goal setting and mindset shifting. In all reality those tips can be applied to multiple areas and do not necessarily address the core change that makes a woman successful.
The kind of success that equates to becoming a better woman goes beyond setting a goal of waking up early or having a morning routine. Although it is nice to have a successful business, having a successful business and being a better woman do not automatically overlap. Therefore, I started reflecting on what I know to be reaching the goal of intentional womanhood. There may be varying definitions of womanhood, but I do find a common essence in many definitions. Whether reading about the topic on Quora or Reddit or a Christian Women’s publication, I find that it is common to attach dignity and poise to a woman’s character.
I found that men commenting on the topic of a woman becoming a better woman tend to advise against immodest appearance and outward attraction. On the contrary their advice was to carry oneself in a dignified way with love and self-respect.
With all that in mind I can speak for myself and say I do not know any other way to grow in this type of inner beauty without a true heart change. Of course, I know the value of routines, discipline, and goal setting, yet I find the first thing that must be first is my reliance on Christ for all that I need to grow and become the best woman I can be.
Obstacles and Dilemma's to Becoming a Better Woman
The reality of the world we live in is there are many different beliefs and world views. We don’t all have the same source for our standard of living or defining womanhood. For those who can receive, because I know not all will, I will touch on principles and characteristics of a good woman.
A good woman has kind conduct, a pure and godly life, and a gentle and peaceful spirit. She may be married or unmarried. She may have children or no children. She may work from home or she may work outside the home. She is disciplined and does things with excellence. Her qualities and values influence her approach to the activities she carries out. For example, if she is a mother, there are principles that govern her motherhood and determine how she loves and trains her children. If she is a wife, there are principles that govern how she loves and supports her husband.
The practical nature of utilizing meal planners, health tips, budget guides and exercise plans to optimize facilitation of the activities a woman carries out may be common ground for most of us. There is a difference in our approach at times because some of us rely on our own strength while others rely on the help of God’s Spirit.
As I was preparing to launch this blog and specifically this first post I realized the need to articulate practical as well as the supernatural dimensions of becoming a better woman. I’ve experienced and continue to pursue growth in both areas because I find one without the other is imbalanced. There are days when I am in my zone meal planning and preparing delicious meals for husband, but without the supernatural help of Holy Spirit things can quickly fall asunder when my heart is not focused on the love of God and the instructions He provides for me to love well and selflessly. Starting my day with the perfect to do list only goes so far if prayer and studying the Word of God are not priority. There is nothing like showing up in every area of life but having the wrong attitude while doing so. On the other hand, spending time reading and praying without pursuing practical activities such as devoting time to budgeting or doing laundry can quickly lead to inefficiency. Therefore, both are needed, and the discipline required to be balanced can be quite challenging which brought me to the refreshing reminder that I am not alone in my pursuit of becoming a better woman. I have instruction of the Scripture to follow and that leads me to the important reality of remaining in Christ to truly become a better woman.
Remain in Him
Remain in Me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in Me. John 15:4 HCSB
So you must remain in life-union with Me, for I remain in life-union with you. For as a branch severed from the vine will not bear fruit, so your life will be fruitless unless you live your life intimately joined to Me. John 15:4 TPT
Being successful is also defined as bearing fruit. Per the Words of Jesus no good fruit can be bore apart from abiding in Him. Without Him I can do nothing. As a wife I can do little to love and honor my husband that can be counted as worthwhile without abiding in Christ. My relationship with Him gives me everything I need for my relationship with Harry.
The key to being successful in becoming a better woman is abiding in Christ.
Without intimate union with Jesus, life is fruitless. There are many possible pursuits on this earth. There tends to be lots of activity falling under the description “serving the LORD”, yet even this is in vain without intimate relationship with the Master. Acknowledging the Messiah as LORD of my life means I live for His pleasure and trust that He knows the best path for my life. Since I believe all that He says about Himself, it is best that I rely on His direction for my life. The key to remaining in Him is actually listening to His Words.
In this verse I find necessity to slow down and seek the LORD through prayer and reading. I do not want to do anything without His approval. My ultimate focus and goal must be to please Him.
I’ve been listening to sermons and reading books lately that God has spoken through to remind me that it is not me who bears the fruit of His Spirit, but the Spirit bears the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians chapter five describes staying in step with Holy Spirit and the result being bearing His fruit in contrast to the fruit of the flesh. None of it happens on autopilot. We reap what we sow. We sow to the flesh OR the Spirit inevitably. Thus our abiding in Christ must be intentional.
The verses after verse in four in John chapter Fifteen speak about the benefits of abiding in Christ.
“If you abide in Me and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
The fact is faith in Christ is not simply a verbal confession. We are recognized as disciples of Christ by the fruit that we bear.
“You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.” (Matthew 7:16-18)
It is a sobering reality that unless I bear fruit that testifies of my discipleship, I have no basis for such claims in truth. The only way I can bear that fruit is to pursue intimate fellowship with Messiah and therefore this has to drive and stir action in me.
Chapter fifteen verse seven reads, “If you abide in Me and My words abide in you...” Studying the Word of God grants me access and exposure to the thoughts, teachings, promises, and judgments of God. As Holy Spirit teaches me God’s Word I gain more insight into His character and the more I understand His character the better I can imitate Him. Studying the Word and meditating on it day and night is the only way to be careful to observe everything written in it and the only way to be successful in all we do (Joshua 1:9). The language of Joshua 1:9 is very similar to the message of John chapter fifteen. Without Christ, the Living Word, you can do nothing. With Christ the living Word you will be successful in all you do.