To the Praise of His Grace Part Two: A Message for Brothers and Sisters
Ladies First
“Behold, the eye of the Lord is upon those who fear Him [and worship Him with awe-inspired reverence and obedience], On those who hope [confidently] in His compassion and lovingkindness, ”Psalms 33:18
Confidently hope in His compassion and loving kindness.
The posture of 1 Peter 3:1-6 is connected to this confidence. I’ve been meditating on this passage for quite some time. It intrigues me that verse the mentions not being frightened by any fear.
A submissive posture is a choice not a force. It is a command, yes, but it is not a posture that is associated or equivalent to being intimidated.
“just as Sarah obeyed Abraham [following him and having regard for him as head of their house], calling him Lord. And you have become her daughters if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear [that is, being respectful toward your husband but not giving in to intimidation, nor allowing yourself to be led into sin, nor to be harmed].” 1 Peter 3:6
The fearlessness to be submissive which essentially means surrendering control comes from trust that transferring the control to JESUS the LORD will result in greater protection and care for our well being than what we provide for ourself. The verses are not ultimately contingent upon the husbands obedience (1Peter 3:2). He may fail to operate with the wisdom, gentleness, and compassion of Christ, BUT Jesus will not!!!!
Rest. Surrender. Trust God.
The other day I made a ToDo List that said:
1. Love my LORD and Savior
2. Love, serve, and respect my Husband
2. Love my Son
etc.
When I wrote down Love, serve, and respect my husband, it represented my commitment to do it.
Respect is a choice. I set it in my mind to make it a priority, be intentional, and tailor my speech and actions to respect. I actually found that I like the calmness and peace of such a posture.
A note for men:
One thing that I have learned about the role of wife in a marriage is that we don’t enter into marriage with prior experience interacting and engaging with anyone the way that a wife must engage with a husband.
The desire to be a godly wife comes with a learning curve. I would like to normalize the language that assumes a godly wife desires to be respectful, but may need time to grow in the posture. Sometimes I think the assumption is that a wife always intends to be disrespectful. I don’t doubt that some women do, but for the godly wife I believe better things.
We should not be scolded or attacked for what our husband perceives as disrespectful. I believe gentlemen will also have to grow in communicating effectively when they feel disrespected by first starting with the premise that their wives love them and may need to be taught what respect for them/to them looks like.
There is a tenderness in the love and correction of God. I believe this is why one of the commands for men is that they should not be harsh with their wives. (Colossians 3:19)
“Husbands, love your wives [with an affectionate, sympathetic, selfless love that always seeks the best for them] and do not be embittered or resentful toward them [because of the responsibilities of marriage].”Colossians 3:19
I am not called to teach a man, but I do desire to reason and request that those who are called to teach men would be considerate of these things.
Too many men are angry and harsh with their wives, forfeiting their call to reflect Christ due to a lack of accountability. The greater sting is that many men have completely disqualified themselves from leadership in ministry by failing to lead and love their own households well.
“Now an overseer must be blameless and beyond reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine, not a bully nor quick-tempered and hot-headed, but gentle and considerate, free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical]. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved] (for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?).” 1 Timothy 3:2-5
The passage continues down to verse 13.
There are qualifications for these positions. Please do not let your fellow brother walk in the deception that what he does at home is less significant than what he does in ministry. Help him understand that what he does at home is his first ministry and determines whether he is qualified to lead a ministry outside.
If we are to be the church outlined in Scripture, we must understand the significance of family. Men should understand the nature of the weaker vessel and be careful to honor her as co heir. ( 1 Peter 3:7)
“In the same way, you husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way [with great gentleness and tact, and with an intelligent regard for the marriage relationship], as with someone physically weaker, since she is a woman. Show her honor and respect as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered or ineffective.”1 Peter 3:7
We are not subordinate (of less or secondary importance) just because we are called to submission. To lack understanding in these areas is to deny the very glory of marriage, namely to reflect Christ and His church.
I humble myself daily to learn how to better fulfill my role as wife. I am committed to not only living it and learning it for myself, but discipling and training young women to do the same. (Check out IshshahClothing.com)
We are capable of bringing much glory to our LORD and KING, Body of Christ. I must say such reverence and exaltation of the Bridegroom in the earth does not come independent of proper fulfillment of roles as husband and wife.
May the LORD sanctify His church according to the richness of His kindness. Amen.
~To the praise of His glorious grace